The Biggest Obstacle to Succeeding as an Artist

Advice for Artists

The Commonly Felt “Dread”

I'd bet you a tube of fine, premium paint that all of us artists, professional or casual, have felt this dread before. I'm talking about the negative feeling that nearly overtakes us in the middle of planning or producing a work of art. That sudden sense of “I can't do this,” or “am I really in the mood for this?” We go from the confidence of a lion to the disbelief of a martyr! No wonder we're artists to begin with!

This phenomenon seems to occur universally, throughout the ages, and it isn't limited to art. This sense of dread is felt in all walks of life. It leads to immense procrastination and self-doubt. So, why does it happen in the first place?

Don't Deny What You Inherently Feel

Over the years, I felt this dread weighing on me and noticed it wasn't going away. Was it simply a habit I'd formed without realizing? I needed to figure out its cause, if there was one. In time, I stumbled across an answer from Dr. Jordan Peterson, a professor of psychology. In one of his lectures online he said something that resonated with me, and I never forgot it. He spoke of facing one's “inner shadow,” or “inner monster,” as he calls it.

That monster, that inner shadow, is the dread that can consume us. It's your inner self screaming at you to take care of your responsibilities. This may sound like a bunch of impractical malarkey, but if you understand the simplicity and the details of how life operates, you'll see it for the fundamental truth it is. The first step is recognizing that you have some inner work to do, and better understanding what makes you tick.

Is the Inner Shadow Self-Serving or Self-Defeating?

When you hear “inner shadow” or “monster,” you'd naturally think it's something to get rid of completely. No, quite the opposite. It's more of a taming process. It's your defense mechanism at its most primal, and you need it as protection. It's your animal instinct signaling that something's wrong and needs your attention. Almost like a sixth sense, it's similar to your nerves reacting when you touch a scorching hot radiator: your nervous system, through pain, warns you to back off and remedy the situation. You wouldn't want to be rid of a warning system like that. It's vital to your survival.

In feeling that inner dread, your spirit, heart and mind are reaching out to you to mature and become more responsible; to confront and clear whatever clogs are holding you back from your potential. It's called an inner monster because, just as a beast defends itself in the wild, so must you defend yourself from the chaos that tries to pull you off your path. In case you haven't nailed it yet, the real “monster” is the childish habit of apathy, or laziness. It caters to and fosters the worst in you.

How Does Being Responsible Help You Succeed?

Hearing the question, it's almost a no-brainer, right? If you're responsible, how could you not succeed? You'd be shocked if you really looked at all the reasons setbacks happen. They're usually the most basic issues, allowed to grow into a problem too big to overcome.

Here's an example Dr. Peterson often uses: making your bed. Yes, making your bed in the morning before you start your day is the first step in disciplining your mind on the importance of order. Order brings harmony and organization; things flow smoother and easier. Once your bed is tidy, you may notice your room needs cleaning too. You expand your focus and awareness, then complete the task at hand in increments. Now your mind is clear, and you can give quality attention to what matters (in this case, living a professional artist's career).

Apply that same discipline, with the understanding that the reward will come, because being responsible is guaranteed to bear the fruit of your labor. It works that way for anything in life. You want a cup of coffee? It's not going to serve itself!

Building Momentum and Learning to Fish for Yourself

Everyone has their own vision of success. For me, as an artist, it's becoming a professional who is consistent in his work and in how he carries himself, inwardly and outwardly, and knowing that I gave it my all. It's all about effort and how much you put in. Put the work in, and you'll reap the rewards with time, diligence and faith in yourself. Make sure you do and become what you genuinely believe, otherwise no one will believe in you in return.

This momentum builds little by little, and it adds up. You begin seeing results, and that excitement pushes you to do and achieve more! The more you confront your inner residue, the more relief you'll feel. No more dread creeping up. That's a sign of growing up and evolving toward your goals. Congratulations: you are now fully responsible for your happiness!

✦ Ramon Trif ✦

Is There Such a Thing as "Too Taboo" in Art?

Artist Journal · Originally written September 5, 2019

A Man of Many Hats

As you may or may not know, I've worn a number of “hats” over the course of my career. I'm a natural-born painter and illustrator, and I've painted dozens and dozens of subjects, from landscapes all the way to super-eroticism. I understood early on that if I was going to pursue all of my interests in art, I would need to adapt myself as an artist for each genre. What do I mean by “adapt,” and why do such a thing?

Here's What Happened

I'm a traditional painter, and I've developed multiple portfolios throughout my career: one strictly for landscapes, one for portraits, one for abstract art, and so on. Most artists choose to focus on one style and subject, their specialty or “niche.” I just don't have it in me to choose only one, so I choose them all, daredevil that I am. One of my more private collections focuses on erotic and taboo themes; I've always had a deep interest in seeing eroticism portrayed in a certain style. I have over 20 original pieces out so far and have gathered a bit of a fan base.

Today, looking to add some followers, I added some old contacts from my phone list to my Instagram page. One woman in particular, let's call her “Valerie” (not her real name, for privacy), sent me a direct message. She wrote at length about how one particular painting of mine, “Be Your Victim,” had triggered a great deal of anger in her. Only that piece upset her, not the others.

It should be known that my erotic paintings are often quite lewd, “dirty” and intense. Very raw, sexually. I explore many approaches to sex: BDSM, gay and lesbian pride, threesomes, certain fantasies and more. “Be Your Victim” shows a woman being taken from behind. He's a bit rough with her, but in the piece she's pleasured and turned on by it.

Valerie explained that it angered her because she had sadly survived rape. It goes without saying that this is an awful, awful trauma to go through. She felt compelled to tell me that the painting brought up past memories, and asked why I would paint something like it. She then immediately said she recognized I'm an artist painting a sexual piece, that I'm very talented, that she respects what I do, and that she sees there's a different perspective from the male side when it comes to sex and art. She hoped I wouldn't take it as an attack on my art, and she appreciated me hearing her out. (She didn't give me much choice, but that's OK.) I don't take things like that personally.

When Does Art “Cross the Line”?

Here's the meat of the controversy. A survivor of rape comes across an erotic artist's Instagram page and is emotionally triggered by a graphic painting. What exactly is the conflict? It's a balance being tested between freedom of expression through art and respect for people's feelings about what is being painted. She was hurt and saddened because my “rough sex” painting reminded her subconscious of that trauma. So what does one do in that situation? What do you do, as an artist, in response? And this goes for any subject that may offend a person or a group: religion, politics, opinionated paintings and so on. I can tell you what I did, and offer some advice to both parties, the offended and the artist.

My advice to the offended: in life there are countless elements, people and events that trigger us in endless ways every day. We are all vastly different, and there are almost eight billion people alive on this planet. Understand that first. Art is one of the freest acts of expression a human being has as a birthright, alongside speech and writing; and sex itself is the ultimate act of physical love one can use as self-expression. You can't go around deciding what is “just” or “acceptable” in an artist's portfolio (unless it's explicitly made to harm someone on purpose), because neither you nor anyone else has real authority to dictate what an artist paints.

On my end, I took every precaution possible not to offend anyone who might come across my page. The first thing you see, alongside all of my posts, is a “Rated Mature” icon and a “Must be 18+ to view” icon. You enter of your own volition after that; you've been properly warned.

My advice to artists in a similar situation: you never need to explain yourself. You may choose to educate someone on the freedom of art and speech, but if they don't understand and respect that, you move on. You'll most likely never change that person's perspective, and it isn't your responsibility to. You took up being an artist, not a politician or a therapist. You are not there to parent adults who can't manage their own reactions.

That may sound insensitive to some, but it really isn't. If Valerie was hurt by my piece because of her past, I have to ask: why did she keep going on my page to begin with? She chose to follow me and, without a second thought, felt entitled to share deeply personal information with a complete stranger. Has she considered (no offense) that I may not want to hear about a stranger's past trauma? I have the utmost compassion for her story, but I'm also trying to focus on my artwork and my own journey. She felt she had the right to influence the way I act and feel, and that, to me, is its own kind of overstepping, if we're going to draw lines.

Again, this is all to debate the example; she and I ended things on alright terms. She's an artist herself, so I think she quickly realized how she was coming across. I admire her courage, and I'm always open to discussion, but not everyone is as open as I am. We all have to understand this about the world. Art, whether it crosses a line or not, is the nature of the beast. Art pushes boundaries (healthy pushes, of course), and sometimes there's no clear-cut, black-and-white balance. Sometimes we have to be willing to see the grey areas, and simply choose not to look at them if they trigger negativity in us. That is never the purpose of art. I can't imagine anyone with a good heart wishing for art to harm someone. I certainly don't.

How Social Media Has Warped Our Communication

At first, Valerie and I agreed to exchange emails about what happened, since we were both intrigued by what we'd learned. But the more I thought about it, the more I felt we had both made our points, and there was no need to discuss it further. I thanked her again, said we should move on from here, and wished her the best of luck. She immediately blocked me.

My main feeling about that is indifference. I don't know her, we never met, so there's no reason to take it personally. Yet she went from sharing something deep and private about her life with a complete stranger, expecting a reaction or a reply, to blocking me the moment I respectfully said I was no longer interested in continuing. I see tons of people do this on Instagram and social media. It's strange and abnormal when you think about it. Online, a stranger feels comfortable sharing explicit details about their life; but if we met in real life, is that something she'd open up with right after introducing herself? I don't think so. And my reaction would most likely be to walk away, politely. Why? Because that's too much, too intense, to start off with someone.

Instagram is a Pandora's box of sorts. When you sign up and search different content, you're bound to come across the infinite possibilities that exist, just like watching television, browsing the internet or going to the movies. You can't go around censoring everything and everyone the moment something makes you sensitive or you simply dislike it. This goes beyond our individual egos; it's about our collective right and gift to be free and to express ourselves artistically (in a healthy way, of course). Let's all grow a bit more together, and celebrate our differences and our common ground alike!

✦ Ramon Trif ✦

The Canvas of a Hair Stylist

Originally written March 1, 2019 · for Dramatics NYC

The World Is Your Canvas

The finest artists throughout history, from Da Vinci to Picasso, Rembrandt, Warhol and Basquiat, all shared one fine tool as their foundation: a canvas. Hair stylists are another form of modern-day artist; they take their creativity to a different kind of canvas, a head of hair. Whether you're a painter, a sculptor, an actress or otherwise, every creative has a unique approach to their canvas of choice. I am both a painter and a salon coordinator, so I get to see how both kinds of artists approach their work.

Inspiration Equals Energy

Before I approach a painting, my mood is crucial. I need to be in a positive, inspired state before I begin. How can any artist, painter or hair stylist produce great work in a lax mood? A hair stylist gets excited just from seeing a client in need of change. That alone motivates them to approach that client (or canvas) with thrilling energy. When the client is happy, a wonderful synergy forms, and magic is made.

What Excites a Hair Stylist?

A truly motivated hair artist is inspired by just about anything; they love tackling creative challenges and setting trends. One of the most desirable “hair canvases,” if you will, is someone looking for a dramatic change. Imagine someone walking into your salon with super long hair, three inches of roots and faded color. A stylist's eyes light up with delight as they happily accept them as the transformation of the day. That pushes any artist beyond their boundaries to reach a new level of creativity and satisfaction. The results are always phenomenal.

Getting in the Groove

Starting the creative process is different for everyone. Some are motivated by the music that's playing. Others find confidence and flair in the way they dress and present themselves. Artistry is a visual stimulant, after all, especially in the beauty business, where image is everything! If I had to choose someone to trust with cutting and coloring my hair, I'd definitely choose the stylist who's decked out from head to toe, looking like a million bucks. They themselves are walking advertisements for their artistry.

For true creatives, being an artist is a way of life. It's a philosophy, not just a cool catchphrase or a hobby. True artists take their work just as seriously as you take your desire to become their masterpiece.

The Canvas Is Alive

As a traditional painter, my canvas gives no resistance or feedback; it's an inanimate object. For the hair artist, however, the canvas is a living, breathing person with desires and expectations. I give enormous credit to how they connect with that living canvas and make them happy. A master stylist can even recover from errors along the creative journey. If that vibrant red Elizabeth requested turns out a bit dull, or not quite the shade she envisioned, things can go haywire, fast! Elizabeth may react in a way the artist didn't anticipate, and they have to be ready for that.

Artists, hair stylists, all creatives in general, are like alchemists. They can take almost anything and turn it into a better version of itself. That is a sacred practice, and we would all do well to appreciate it more and give our gratitude to the artists of our world.

Originally written on March 1, 2019, for Dramatics NYC, 1488 3rd Avenue, New York, NY 10028.

✦ Ramon Trif ✦