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A Man of Many Hats
As you may or may not know, I've worn a number of “hats” over the course of my career. I'm a natural-born painter and illustrator, and I've painted dozens and dozens of subjects, from landscapes all the way to super-eroticism. I understood early on that if I was going to pursue all of my interests in art, I would need to adapt myself as an artist for each genre. What do I mean by “adapt,” and why do such a thing?
Here's What Happened
I'm a traditional painter, and I've developed multiple portfolios throughout my career: one strictly for landscapes, one for portraits, one for abstract art, and so on. Most artists choose to focus on one style and subject, their specialty or “niche.” I just don't have it in me to choose only one, so I choose them all, daredevil that I am. One of my more private collections focuses on erotic and taboo themes; I've always had a deep interest in seeing eroticism portrayed in a certain style. I have over 20 original pieces out so far and have gathered a bit of a fan base.
Today, looking to add some followers, I added some old contacts from my phone list to my Instagram page. One woman in particular, let's call her “Valerie” (not her real name, for privacy), sent me a direct message. She wrote at length about how one particular painting of mine, “Be Your Victim,” had triggered a great deal of anger in her. Only that piece upset her, not the others.
It should be known that my erotic paintings are often quite lewd, “dirty” and intense. Very raw, sexually. I explore many approaches to sex: BDSM, gay and lesbian pride, threesomes, certain fantasies and more. “Be Your Victim” shows a woman being taken from behind. He's a bit rough with her, but in the piece she's pleasured and turned on by it.
Valerie explained that it angered her because she had sadly survived rape. It goes without saying that this is an awful, awful trauma to go through. She felt compelled to tell me that the painting brought up past memories, and asked why I would paint something like it. She then immediately said she recognized I'm an artist painting a sexual piece, that I'm very talented, that she respects what I do, and that she sees there's a different perspective from the male side when it comes to sex and art. She hoped I wouldn't take it as an attack on my art, and she appreciated me hearing her out. (She didn't give me much choice, but that's OK.) I don't take things like that personally.
When Does Art “Cross the Line”?
Here's the meat of the controversy. A survivor of rape comes across an erotic artist's Instagram page and is emotionally triggered by a graphic painting. What exactly is the conflict? It's a balance being tested between freedom of expression through art and respect for people's feelings about what is being painted. She was hurt and saddened because my “rough sex” painting reminded her subconscious of that trauma. So what does one do in that situation? What do you do, as an artist, in response? And this goes for any subject that may offend a person or a group: religion, politics, opinionated paintings and so on. I can tell you what I did, and offer some advice to both parties, the offended and the artist.
My advice to the offended: in life there are countless elements, people and events that trigger us in endless ways every day. We are all vastly different, and there are almost eight billion people alive on this planet. Understand that first. Art is one of the freest acts of expression a human being has as a birthright, alongside speech and writing; and sex itself is the ultimate act of physical love one can use as self-expression. You can't go around deciding what is “just” or “acceptable” in an artist's portfolio (unless it's explicitly made to harm someone on purpose), because neither you nor anyone else has real authority to dictate what an artist paints.
On my end, I took every precaution possible not to offend anyone who might come across my page. The first thing you see, alongside all of my posts, is a “Rated Mature” icon and a “Must be 18+ to view” icon. You enter of your own volition after that; you've been properly warned.
My advice to artists in a similar situation: you never need to explain yourself. You may choose to educate someone on the freedom of art and speech, but if they don't understand and respect that, you move on. You'll most likely never change that person's perspective, and it isn't your responsibility to. You took up being an artist, not a politician or a therapist. You are not there to parent adults who can't manage their own reactions.
That may sound insensitive to some, but it really isn't. If Valerie was hurt by my piece because of her past, I have to ask: why did she keep going on my page to begin with? She chose to follow me and, without a second thought, felt entitled to share deeply personal information with a complete stranger. Has she considered (no offense) that I may not want to hear about a stranger's past trauma? I have the utmost compassion for her story, but I'm also trying to focus on my artwork and my own journey. She felt she had the right to influence the way I act and feel, and that, to me, is its own kind of overstepping, if we're going to draw lines.
Again, this is all to debate the example; she and I ended things on alright terms. She's an artist herself, so I think she quickly realized how she was coming across. I admire her courage, and I'm always open to discussion, but not everyone is as open as I am. We all have to understand this about the world. Art, whether it crosses a line or not, is the nature of the beast. Art pushes boundaries (healthy pushes, of course), and sometimes there's no clear-cut, black-and-white balance. Sometimes we have to be willing to see the grey areas, and simply choose not to look at them if they trigger negativity in us. That is never the purpose of art. I can't imagine anyone with a good heart wishing for art to harm someone. I certainly don't.
How Social Media Has Warped Our Communication
At first, Valerie and I agreed to exchange emails about what happened, since we were both intrigued by what we'd learned. But the more I thought about it, the more I felt we had both made our points, and there was no need to discuss it further. I thanked her again, said we should move on from here, and wished her the best of luck. She immediately blocked me.
My main feeling about that is indifference. I don't know her, we never met, so there's no reason to take it personally. Yet she went from sharing something deep and private about her life with a complete stranger, expecting a reaction or a reply, to blocking me the moment I respectfully said I was no longer interested in continuing. I see tons of people do this on Instagram and social media. It's strange and abnormal when you think about it. Online, a stranger feels comfortable sharing explicit details about their life; but if we met in real life, is that something she'd open up with right after introducing herself? I don't think so. And my reaction would most likely be to walk away, politely. Why? Because that's too much, too intense, to start off with someone.
Instagram is a Pandora's box of sorts. When you sign up and search different content, you're bound to come across the infinite possibilities that exist, just like watching television, browsing the internet or going to the movies. You can't go around censoring everything and everyone the moment something makes you sensitive or you simply dislike it. This goes beyond our individual egos; it's about our collective right and gift to be free and to express ourselves artistically (in a healthy way, of course). Let's all grow a bit more together, and celebrate our differences and our common ground alike!