A Man of Many Hats
As you may or may not know, I have
worn a number of "hats" so to speak, in terms of my career development.
I'm a natural born painter & illustrator. I have painted dozens and
dozens of varying subject matter, ranging from landscapes all the way to
super-eroticism. I understood early on that if I am to pursue all of my
subject interests in art, that I need to sort of have an adaptation of
myself as an artist, for each genre. What do I mean by 'adapt' ? And why
do such a thing?
Here's What Happened
As
mentioned earlier, I am a traditional painter and have developed
multiple art portfolios throughout my career. I have a portfolio
strictly for landscapes, I have one strictly for portraits, one
specified for abstract art, so on and so forth. Now, most artists choose
to focus on one style and subject matter, as it is considered their
specialty or 'niche'. I just don't have it in me to choose but one, so I
choose them all, being the daredevil I am. One of my more private
collections is focused on erotic & taboo themes, as I have always
had a vast interest in seeing eroticism portrayed in a certain style. I
have over 20 original pieces out so far, and have collected a bit of a
fan base. Today, I was looking to add some more followers, so I decided
to add some old contacts from my phone list, to my Instagram page. One
woman in particular, let's call her "Valerie" (not her real name, for
privacy), direct messaged me online. She wrote a lengthy excerpt about
how at first one particular painting of mine entitled, "Be Your Victim"
triggered a great deal of anger in her. Only that particular piece upset
her, not the others. It should be known that often times my erotic
paintings are quite lewd, "dirty" and intense. Very raw, sexually. I
also cover various approaches to sex, such as BDSM, gay/ lesbian pride,
threesomes, certain sexual fantasies, etc. In "Be Your Victim", it
illustrates a woman "getting it" from behind. He's a bit rough with her,
but she's pleasured and turned on by that, in the piece. This young
woman, "Valerie" expressed that the reason it angered her was that she
sadly suffered as a rape victim. It goes without saying that of course,
that is an awful, awful trauma Valerie went through. She felt compelled
to reach out and let me know that it brought up past memories and asked
why would I consider painting something like this. She then immediately
stated that she recognizes that I am but an artist, painting a sexual
piece. She said I am very talented, she respects what I do and that she
sees a different perspective from the male's end when it comes to sex
and art. She went on to say that she hopes I don't take this as an
"attack" on my art and that she appreciates me being open and hearing
her out (I mean, she didn't give me much choice either, but that's ok). I
don't take certain things personal.
When Does Art "Cross the Line" ?
Here's
where the meat of the controversy lies. We have a situation here that
has an unfortunate victim of rape, in which she comes across an erotic
artist's Instagram page and is triggered emotionally by a graphic
painting. What exactly is the controversy? Well, there's a balance being
tested here between the freedom of expression through art and
respecting people's feelings by what is actually being painted as the
subject manner. To break it down, she was offended and saddened as my
"rough sex" painting reminded her subconscious of that trauma. So, what
does one do in that situation? What do you do as an artist, in response
to that? And this goes for any subject matter that may offend someone or
a group of people (example: religion, politics, opinionated paintings,
etc.) I can tell you what I did, and offer some advice to both parties
at hand (the offended and the artist). My advice to the offended is
that, in life there are countless elements, people, events and such that
trigger us in endless ways on a daily basis. We are all vastly
different and there are almost eight billion people alive on this
planet. Understand that, first. Now, when it comes to art- it is one of
the most free acts of expression a human being has as their birthright.
Alongside speech, writing and heck, sex itself is the ultimate act of
physical love one can utilize as self expression. You cannot go around
deeming what you find "just" or "acceptable" in an artist's portfolio
(unless it's explicitly made to harm someone on purpose), simply because
you nor anyone else has any real "authority" to dictate what an artist
will paint. After all, on my end I took all the necessary precautions
possible as to
not offend anyone who may come across my page. The
first headline on the page alongside all my posts are a 'Rated Mature'
icon coupled with a 'Must be 18+ yrs' to view icon. You enter at your
own volition after that, you've been properly warned. Here's my advice
for artists in any similar situation- You do not need to explain
yourself, ever. You may choose to educate someone on the freedom of art
and speech, but if they do not understand and respect that, then you
move on. You will most likely never change that person's perspective and
it is not your responsibility to do so. After all, you took up being an
artist, not a politician or therapist. You are not to parent adults who
cannot control their own behavior and thought patterns. This may sound
sensitive to some, but it really is not. For example, if Valerie felt
offended by my piece due to her past trauma, I have to ask- why was she
on my page going forward to begin with? She decided to follow me, and
without a second thought, felt entitled to direct message a complete
stranger all of that personal information. Ever think (no offense), that
I myself do not want to hear about your past trauma? I have the utmost
compassion for her story, but at the same time I'm trying to focus on my
art work and my personal journey. She felt she had the right to
influence the way I act and feel (and as extreme as this is about to
sound), that in itself is a form of mental rape, if we're going to draw
lines. Again, this is all just to debate the example, as we ended off
alright in the end, her and I. She is an artist herself, so I guess she
realized right away how she was coming across as well. I admire her
courage and I am always open to discussion, but not everyone is as open a
me. We have to all understand this, in this world. Art, in the end
whether it crosses a line or not, that is the nature of the beast so to
speak. Art pushes boundaries (we gun for healthy pushes of course), but
sometimes there is no clear cut black and white balance. Sometimes, we
have to be willing to see the grey areas and choose to simply not look
at them if they trigger negativity in you. That, is never the purpose of
art, as I imagine no one in their right heart wishes art to harm
someone. I certainly do not wish that.
Why Social Media has Demented Our Communication and Social Ability
Originally,
I agreed to exchange email conversations with Valerie about what went
down as we both felt intrigued by what we learned. Then, the more I
though about it, the more I felt she and I had gotten across both our
points and there simply was no need to further discuss anything. I
thanked her again and told her we should just move on from here and best
of luck. She immediately blocked me. Now, my main feeling about this is
indifference. (I don't know her, we never met), so no reason to take it
personal. Yet, she went from messaging me something so deep and private
about her life to a complete stranger, expected a reaction or a reply
from me and then when I expressed that I am no longer respectfully
interested, she blocks me. I find that tons of people do this on
Instagram and social media. It's extremely strange and abnormal when you
think about it. So, on Instagram a stranger feels comfortable enough to
share explicit details about their life, but what if we met in real
life? Is that something she would open up with after introducing
herself? I don't think so. And you know what my reaction would most
likely be? I would walk away politely. Why? Because that's all just too
much and way too intense, to start off with someone. Instagram is also a
'Pandora's Box' of sorts, meaning when you sign up and search varying
content, you are bound to come across the infinite possibilities that
exist, the very same way you do when watching television, browsing the
internet or watching a movie. You cannot go around censoring everything
and everyone the moment you are sensitive to something or just dislike
it. It goes beyond our individual ego, our collective right and gift to
be free and express ourselves artistically (in a healthy manner of
course). Let's all grow a bit more collectively and celebrate our
differences and common grounds alike!
Written Originally September 5, 2019
