The Commonly-Felt " Dread "
I'd bet you a tube of fine premium level 4 paint that we all as artists, whether professional or casual, have felt this dread before. What I'm referring to is this negative feeling that almost overtakes us in the midst of planning or producing a work of art. Many of us may feel this sense of "all of a sudden I can't do this", or "am I really in the mood to do this?" We go from the confidence of a lion to the disbelief of a martyr! It's no wonder we're artists to begin with! This phenomenon seemingly occurs universally throughout the ages, and it's not limited to art only. This sense of dread is felt in all walks of life. It leads to immense procrastination and self-doubt. So, why does it happen in the first place?
Don't Deny What You Inherently Feel
Throughout my years I had felt this dread weighing down on me and noticed it wasn't going away. Was it simply a habit I'd formed without realizing? It was important to figure out what the cause of this was, if any. After some time I stumbled across an answer in the form of Dr. Jordan Peterson, a professor of psychology. Through one of his lectures online he stated something that resonated with me and I never forgot it. He spoke of "facing one's inner-shadow" or "inner-monster" as he refers to it. That "monster" or "inner-shadow" is referring to the "dread" that can consume us. It is the feeling of your inner-self screaming at you to "take care of your responsibilities". This may sound like a bunch of impractical malarkey, but if you understand the simplicity and the details of how Life operates, then you would see it for the fundamental truth it is. The first step is recognizing you have some inner-work to do and to better understand what makes you "tick".
Is 'The Inner-Shadow' Self-Serving or Self-Defeating?
When you hear the term "Inner-Shadow" or "Monster", of course you'd feel inclined to think this is something one should work on getting rid of completely. No, it's quite the opposite in fact. It's more of a taming process. It is your defense mechanism at its most primal. You need this as a form of protection. It is your animalistic instinct that signals you when something's wrong and needs your attention. Almost like a sixth sense, it is similar to your nerves reacting when you touch a scorching hot radiator. Your nervous system, through pain, warns you to back off and remedy the situation. You would not be looking to rid yourself of such a warning system, as it's vital to your survival. In feeling one's inner-dread, this is your spirit, heart and mind reaching out to you, to mature and become more responsible; to confront and alleviate whatever clogs you may have that are holding you back from your potential. So, the reason it's called "Inner-Monster"is because like a beast defends itself in the wild, so must you from the chaos of that which attempts to stray you away from your path. In case you haven't nailed it yet, the "monster" is the childish habit of apathy, or laziness. It fosters and caters to the allowance of the worst in you.
How Does Being Responsible Help Achieve Success?
Hearing the question it's almost a no-brainer, right? If you are responsible, how could you not be successful? You'd be sent into shock if you started to really look at all the reasons set backs take place. They're usually the most basic of issues that one allows to grow into a huge problem that ends up being too difficult to overcome. I'll share an example of this. Dr. Jordan Peterson commonly uses this as a sample: making your bed. Yes, making your bed in the morning before you proceed with your day is the first step in disciplining your mind on the importance of order. Order brings about harmony, organization, things flow smoothly and easier. By tidying your bed, you then begin seeing that maybe your room needs to be cleaned. You expand your focus and awareness, then complete the task at hand in increments. Now your mind is much more clear and you're able to focus with quality attention on the task at hand (in this case, living a professional artist's career). You just apply that same discipline and understanding that "the reward will come" because the act of being responsible, is guaranteed to become the fruit of your labor. It goes that way for anything in Life. You want a cup of coffee? It's not going to serve itself for you!
Building Momentum and Learning to Fish for Yourself
Everyone has a vision of what success means for them, personally. For me, as an artist it's to become a professional that is consistent in his work, in how I carry myself inwardly and outwardly, and to have the knowledge that I gave it my all. It's all about effort and the amount you put in. You put the work in, you then reap the rewards with due time, diligence and faith in yourself. Make sure you do and be what you genuinely believe, otherwise no one's going to believe in you in return. This building of momentum, little by little adds up after a while. You begin seeing results and that excitement pushes you forward to do and achieve more! The more and more you do this and confront your inner residue, you will feel alleviation. No more dread creeping up. That's a sign of growing up and evolving toward your goals! Congratulations, you now are fully responsible for your happiness!
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